The Student News Site of Lowell High School

The Lowell

The Student News Site of Lowell High School

The Lowell

The Student News Site of Lowell High School

The Lowell

Satire: Five gentle ways to tell someone your grade is higher than theirs

1. Airplane banner

Prove you’re the smarter person once and for all with a little airplane-flown banner over the entire city of San Francisco.

2. Buying a Cameo

A personalized video of someone’s favorite celebrity revealing your higher grade is a perfect way to rope in their interests while asserting your dominance.

3. GlobalEd Leader bots

By buying @globaledleader 10,000 more Instagram bots, you can get him to announce that you have a higher grade at the next rally or in his weekly Principal’s update!

4. Re-paint the bleachers

When it’s time to paint the cardinal red “2025,” get the senior class to paint your higher test score instead, ensuring it can be seen by all of Lowell.

5. Google Classroom announcement

Who reads Google Classroom announcements anyway, right? Wrong! By announcing your high grade to the class stream, you’ll get more publicity than any EdPuzzle assignment ever could.

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About the Contributor
Brooke Laur, Columns Editor
She/Her Brooke is a senior at Lowell. Outside of school, she can be found getting burritos with her friends, listening to podcasts, and daydreaming on the bus. Brooke's motto in life is ''do it for the bit''.

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