I felt my sister’s hug as I thought about what it would be like to not have a fourth family member in the house. I had a heavy feeling in my chest as I started walking away. I walked down the stairs at my sister’s dorm and went back into the car. I looked at the dorm building one last time and realized that after ten years of going to school with her in some way, that streak would end. Sure, she would only be across the bridge, but I still felt that she was so far away. During the summer leading up to my sophomore year, my sister had moved into a dorm at UC Berkeley to begin her college journey. When I was crossing the Bay Bridge and going back to San Francisco, I realized how much my sister did for me, and what I was going to have to do on my own now. I realized that I was going to have to start being more independent.

Getting more time to adjust to the new independent lifestyle allowed me to realize who I was. I saw my peers around me enjoying their high school experience and it didn’t involve relying on siblings. I knew that being independent in high school wasn’t that hard, and I just needed to be myself. I just needed to open up and go for the opportunities I saw available.

Growing up, I was always very shy. I only had a couple friends and the most I talked was at home, with my sister. I never wanted to meet new people or even speak in public, and most of the time, my extroverted sister spoke up for me when I needed something. I had gotten so used to my sister being under the same roof as me that I didn’t realize how awkward it would be to not have her around. My sister was always there to help me out with everything, from talking to people to helping with my homework. I really needed her to speak for me because I didn’t have good social skills and I was bad at explaining things. Without her, I would be a nervous wreck and stutter when I spoke.

When I started high school at Lowell, I knew it was going to be tough for me. I had heard of how difficult Lowell had been for my sister and was scared going into it. However, my sister, who was a senior when I was a freshman, helped me get situated in my new environment and it was very beneficial to have her around. When I joined the swim team, she would walk with me to practice everyday. Whenever I had a question in my biology class, she would sit down and tutor me.

When my sister left, I was on my own. The shy kid who relied on his older sibling was by himself now. Without my sister there to help me with homework, I went from being a bright student to struggling. Going to school was an awkward experience for me. Every morning, my dad would drive my sister and I to school. Now that my sister left, my trips to school became more awkward. I didn’t have my sister to talk to, and it made me feel miserable. Before even getting to school, I would be in a bad mood, and I felt like my day was ruined.

On top of that, my parents would tell me how I needed to be more like my sister. Being very talkative and outgoing, she was always starting conversations. Without her, I feel that my family got separated in a way. It was hard to talk with them without starting an argument. My sister left the center of attention on me, which meant they would always be bothering me about everything. In addition, she was basically the model child in terms of school work and extracurriculars, and I felt inadequate trying to follow her. My parents would pester me to be more outgoing and smart like my sister. This, however, was a blessing in disguise.

I realized that nothing was going to change if I sat around all day. I knew that time wasn’t going to wait for me, so I had to start putting in some work. I looked at my peers and saw that they were all doing well. If I didn’t get up and start doing something, I would fall further behind. It was difficult at first because I didn’t know what to do. I began to take slow steps, and I gained more confidence with each step. I joined more clubs, found more friends, and got the support I needed from them — the support that my sister had given me. I spent more time studying and less time being distracted. I walked myself to swim practices.

By the end of sophomore year and the start of junior year, I had a complete makeover. I went from heavily relying on my sister to being able to tackle the challenges school gave me. My grades got better, I felt more confident in myself, and I won a few races at my final swim meet. As the year went on, I felt more comfortable with being by myself; I became more independent. Above all, I had learned how to adapt. This was a valuable experience for me because I learned that overcoming obstacles is always possible.