Evocation 

you capture each moment

so you don’t lose it,

lose it in the furthest reaches of your mind,

off in some forgotten coat pocket,

some roach-filled corner,

some bucket filled with sand

and taken with the tide of forgetfulness.

write in your journal;

oh, how did it feel to be young,

to have worries like butterflies,

so beautiful,

innocent,

fleeting,

caught in a net and released?

tell me, show me;

were you ever in love?

did your love camouflage itself

so others wouldn’t recognize it,

so you’d never have to face

the bitter rejection

that comes with loving people without caution?

weave memories together,

fragments, puzzle pieces,

put them together and ponder what your life has become.

it doesn’t look how you thought it would look,

but somehow,

that makes it prettier.

 

The Lawless Mind

my thoughts spiral into an ornate cage,

locking themselves inside and swallowing the key,

spinning faster and faster and faster

until I cannot glimpse them.

my thoughts scribble on the blank walls of my psyche,

except their drawings are ugly,

black sharpie lines with no shape, no cohesive quality,

sticking out on the stark white wall. 

i try to scrub them away

but their residue remains

until my fingers are raw from scrubbing

and i let out a sigh of defeat.

my thoughts are endless, scorching suns,

hot and unforgiving,

blinding me when i examine them for too long.

my thoughts are endless night,

dark save for a few spots of light.

i gaze at those spots of light,

squinting to better see them,

stars amidst the seemingly endless darkness of my mind.

someday, i know the night sky will crack open

to reveal a sky of endless stars,

brightness conquering dark,

an inverted version of my current state of mind.

the curtains that are the night sky will open,

the walls will be clean, or maybe they’ll come down entirely,

i’ll find the key to the cage and unlock it.

and then i’ll feel true joy.