When admins ‘dress-coded’ me for this outfit, was it short-changing my education?

Originally published on March 4, 2016

The outfit in the photo is the same outfit referenced in the column. Photo by Alexis Picache

For four years, 180 days a year, Monday through Friday, I’ve gotten up early for school. I’m more often tired than not, and just want to get through the day smoothly and comfortably. This is often reflected by what I wear, like an athletic shorts and sweatshirt combination I’ve embarrassingly repeated for multiple years. I’ve never given much thought to what I wear, but apparently what I’ve worn consistently for years violates a dress code that’s hardly ever enforced. And yet it is this dress code that is valued over my education.

I was wearing the same athletic running shorts and a sweatshirt I’d worn before. I didn’t think either violated the school dress code, and was never explicitly told which part of the dress code I had violated.

A couple months ago I was rushing into school because I was late, and I hate being late because I think it’s rude and embarrassing to walk into a class after it’s started. But a security guard had other plans for me that morning. He yelled at me as I rushed past him on the ramp outside the flagpole, and told me I needed to go to the dean because I was being dress coded. I was wearing the same athletic running shorts and a sweatshirt I’d worn before. I didn’t think either violated the school dress code, and was never explicitly told which part of the dress code I had violated. I know that it was my athletic shorts that may have been considered a dress code violation, but even after flipping through the 100 plus pages of my handy dandy San Francisco Unified School District (SFUSD) Student and Family Handbook (a masterful piece of literature) I could not find anything that said that my particular shorts and its length was the source of my egregious offense. The closest thing the Handbook gets to mentioning my so-called offense is an example of “inappropriate clothing” where “the entire thigh is exposed such as micro minis or short shorts.” But what are micro minis? What are short shorts? And what is a thigh in its entirety? Whatever that might look like, I doubt my entire thighs were exposed because frankly I have large ones and wouldn’t wish it on anyone to have to see them in their entirety.

I’ll never know what I specifically did wrong because the security guard silently escorted me to the dean’s office and never offered any explanation or kindness to me. I didn’t know what was going to happen to me and I was terrified. Was I going to be sent home or suspended? I never get dressed in the morning with the malicious intention of violating the dress code or breaking the rules at school. This wasn’t me trying to demonstrate my resistance to a policy I thought to be unfair — this was just me trying to be comfortable and get through the day.

I was terrified. Was I going to be sent home or suspended?

After what felt like one the quietest and longest walks I’ve ever been on, I got to the dean’s office. He wasn’t there but I didn’t feel relieved, just more anxious because my fate was now in the hands of this security guard who had been rude to me. So I asked to see my counselor because I hoped he would offer some sympathy or a kinder insight. But he agreed with the security guard and both men told me that I needed to either go home and change, or have someone at home bring me “more appropriate” pants. Those were my only choices, and they angered me.

Why is it that what I am wearing is valued over my education? Am I supposed to drop everything to be “more appropriate” for school? What even is appropriate for school and who decides that? Most importantly, who am I bothering when I am dressed like this? These were the questions that raced through my mind as I stood in my counselor’s office dumbfounded. I weighed my options: do I go home to get clothes and miss more class, or do I hope my mom is at home and can take time out of her busy work schedule to bring me more clothes? This was a lose-lose situation no matter how I looked at it. And I refused to do either. I would not jeopardize my education nor my mom’s valuable time that she should use to work. Because that’s what adults should be doing — working, and not belittling women for being comfortable. But my refusal to change didn’t work for my counselor nor my stoic security guard friend. “Luckily” my counselor offered me a pair of sweatpants he had in his bag because he was going to work out after school. I reluctantly took them, because at this point I felt defeated and too tired to argue.

Why are girls being punished for being a distraction, instead of teaching boys not to be distracted?

I hate sweatpants. I refuse to wear them outside of my house and think about the Seinfeld sweatpants episode every time I put a pair on. Now I don’t mind if other people wear sweatpants, and I encourage people to wear and do whatever they want with their bodies as long as they are not harming themselves or others. However, I cannot bring myself to wear sweatpants in public, so after I put them on in my counselor’s office I promptly went to a restroom and took them off. This was my resistance to a policy I thought to be unfair. But by this time the block was half over and by the time I got to my class, the lesson was already over. It didn’t matter that the lesson was already over though, because when I got to class I was crying. I’m not proud to admit this, because I hardly ever cry. I remember going to class and just sitting there and crying. I was frustrated, I was upset, but most of all, I was humiliated.

I had missed class because of such a trivial thing, and felt attacked for wearing clothes that made me feel comfortable. I wasn’t even explicitly told why I couldn’t wear the athletic shorts I was wearing. I don’t know how many people have been dress coded for a reason they thought to be unfair — all I know is that I was an unlucky victim of an inconsistently enforced and vague dress code. The SFUSD Student and Family Handbook states that “The type and style of clothing (except for schools with uniforms) and hairdo are individual and personal. The school shall be concerned only when these are extreme and could cause school distraction or disruption or be unsafe.” So was I being punished because my allegiance to a college football team via sweatshirt was unsafe? Or more offensively, was I being punished because my shorts were too short and therefore a distraction and disruption for boys at school? And if so, why are girls being punished for being a distraction, instead of teaching boys not to be distracted? To me this school’s uncompromising punishments for dress code violations are outrageous. My time and education mean nothing in the name of “appropriate clothing” and my “scantily” clad legs and I will not stand for this.